Well, yesterday was the day after all. The day I pushed the button and chose the other fork in the road.
My tenure with the Inspector Gadget team will end sometime in the next 45 days. I’m still not sure I believe it. Almost 8 years, now, of my life with the same general group doing increasingly complex investigations.
I got the revised offer yesterday with a surprise. The initial offer didn’t factor my OT hours in, and was essentially a pay cut. Which wasn’t the intention, from what I gather it was an error. The powers that be got together and the new offer exceeded my expectations. By several thousand dollars.
And even with things aligning right, I hesitated. Pushing that send with “I accept” was like pushing against gale-force winds. But as a wise friend said to me “Don’t let your emotional attachment to the team negate doing the right thing for you.”
So I hit send. And then I cried. Hard.
I’m scared, but I am also so ready for this change. The writing was on the wall a few months back, and then it came sharply into focus in the last few weeks as several others in my org started moving to new teams or quitting. There was no ignoring how bad things have become.
Today I don’t feel so raw. But tomorrow is going to be hard. There is a team lunch tomorrow. I’m going to have to speak to these people that I care so much about and tell them that I’m leaving. Talk about ripping the scab off.
Still, it’s another step towards that light. I can already feel the change in the air.