The last few years I’ve had these occasional bouts of “Should I have’s”, mainly with regards to whether I should have gone to college right after high school.
It creeps up in one of two ways, usually. Either I’m feeling incredibly unskilled after working with one of our uber-smart and linear-thinking analysts at work, or someone I know is going back to school and thriving for the experience.
I hate to say the “Should I have’s” present themselves more often in the latter, negative context. I always feel not good enough, even when no one is comparing me to someone else but me. Dumb, I know. But I seem unable to stop the comparison.
Lately, it’s been happening again although in a more driven context. I’m in a less-than-ideal work situation and so is Bayou. We’re both reaching places where we’re questioning what is valued, what is unnecessary, and what is outright poisonous. The difference for Bayou is that she’s been to school and generally wants to use her existing ass-kicking creative skills. I, on the other hand, need an entirely new direction and would have to get some significant training in order to do it.
It occurred to me today that I can do these things, and while it won’t be as “easy” as it might have been when I was 18 or so, it can be done. The pace is slower and the price a fuck-ton higher (tuition wise), but it’s probably a lot more worthwhile and meaningful- and isn’t that the point?
It also occurred to me that I do not need to be an expert in one thing. I’ve realized after working at the Cool Company for almost 5 years that I like being a generalist. I like being a jill of several/many trades. I dislike being locked into any one thing for too long. In that sense, it was probably a good thing I changed jobs this summer- even though I initially HATED it, there is the possibility that I could garner some new skills that I wouldn’t have in the prior job.
I wish it hadn’t taken me so long to stop fighting the future, as it were. I think everything with my family and that incredibly strong desire to change and morph was blinding me to the simple truth: let go. Just let go and it will be ok.
Detachment, for me, is a double-edged sword. Rationally, I know I need to do it in some instances. Emotionally, I fear becoming too detached- that if I release my death grip I will get too remote and removed and something bad will happen. I can’t think of an instance where that’s actually been the result, but there you go.
Hopefully these revelations will keep me from resuming the death grip and continuously letting go when I need to do it. Because in letting go, I’m freer than I’ve been in months.
And I haven’t lost a thing.
College degrees can be overrated; the most-successful people I know don’t have one. I do have one and I’m glad for it, but what I do for a living has nothing to do with what I learned in school. I think college taught me how to learn, as opposed to giving me my marketable skills. It’s all about learning on the job and coming in with the potential to learn a specialty. At this juncture, I don’t want to go back to school but I’d be willing to invest in a certificate program that gives me the courses I need as opposed to the core liberal arts curriculum that will be forced upon you if you really want a bachelor’s degree. Whatever you do, I’m sure it’ll be the right decision, but there are a lot of options out there, like simply taking the classes you want and deciding whether you’ve had enough or want to learn more!
Well, for what I’m interested in, a degree is required- I can’t do OJT. There is a certificate course offered through the University of WA that was recommended to me by someone in the field, and I’ve missed my chance for the year to check it out. So at least I have time.
But I do agree that college is overrated; in many cases, I think real world experience is better. And in most respects, I don’t regret not going. It’s just that now, in mid-life, I need to find something that will give me a feeling of purpose and not corporate droneship… so I have to get that hard science degree. UGH… I wish there was no math involved.
I think I disagree. I would not be making much money without my degrees. But, then…I look at my partner and she is just as educated as I am yet makes less than half of my salary. She is a teacher. So…who knows? I AM glad that I went to college, but looking back I think that all that all that education is sort of wasted on the young. I was in school merely to procure a degree, not to learn. Now, if I went back…I would be there to learn.
You can’t make room for the new stuff until you let go of the old stuff.
Big changes are scary, though, especially when there’s money (or lack thereof) involved. So what ARE you interested in, anyway?
Dawn makes an excellent point about degree programs vs certificate programs. But I hate that, especially RIGHT now when jobs are harder to come by, that the bachelors degree is such a gating item (i.e., arbitrary criterion by which to eliminate applicants from the pool, just to narrow it down).
Maria makes another excellent point about what you actually get out of college. I think we’d all agree that our approach to learning as adults has changed significantly from when we were 18, and I still maintain that a huge chunk of the benefit of college at that age is social rather than academic.
Knowing that I’m getting laid off anywhere in the next 9-18 months has inspired a similar crisis for me. At least I have time to prepare, but I have no idea what to do next. I can keep doing what I’m doing in a different segment of the industry, but lawdy, I hate the industry. But the paycheck allows me to do a lot of other stuff that I do enjoy.
Sorry it’s taken me so long to reply back.
Good points all around. Erica- LAID OFF? What the hell did I miss?!
My area of interest is forensic science. I’ve been interested for a long time, but I just never had the nerve to dare dream about it. After all, I’ve been out of school almost 20 years. Things have changed and I hope to god I am a better student now than I was then. (I was bored and therefore not very motivated to be a straight A student.)
But yes, utlimately, the old must give way for the new to be added. I’ve already done this to a degree in other areas. I’ve stopped playing soccer. My heart isn’t in it, so I’m moving those energies to sewing and learning two musical instruments. But on a larger plane, I NEED to feel what I’m doing for a living makes a difference. I’m surrounded by very smart people -INSANELY smart people- but it just lacks something for me.
I’d be nowhere without my education. I almost skipped out on the whole thing (I didn’t go straight out of HS). It’s given me options and opportunities I would not have had otherwise.
About math? I chose sociology because it was the one major that didn’t require math and foreign language. Before long, I knew I’d need math if I was ever going to be employable. I started at the beginning (remedial classes) and made my way forward. And look at me now… I’m a statistician doing advanced non-linear modeling.
Start at the beginning, and keep an open mind.
Education is expensive. If you are going for a bachelor’s degree, take all of your general studies requirements at a community college and then transfer to a four-year school. You’ll save so much money that way.
Good luck.
Thanks, Trop. That had been my plan- get the basics/refreshers/crap courses out of the way and transfer to the UW, Seattle Pacific, or Seattle U later on. It’s more convenient and cheaper, as you note.
God, math. I struggle with basic calculation. Algebra was a farking NIGHTMARE. Geometry assassinated what was left of my confidence. It’s so slow and torturous for me to deal with, but I’m willing to try and overcome the deficits to get a chemistry or biology degree. Probably the latter, we’ll see. I hope to take the forensics certificate course at the UW next fall- unfortunately, it’s only once a year and I missed the cut off. (Not that I had $2500 handy for it anyway). If I do that, it will give me in-roads to people locally in the field, as well as a chance to see if I’d like it. I can live with spending $2500 to find out the answer is NO WAY or HELL YES, BRING IT AWN!
Sounds like a good plan, Lach. You seem to have your head on pretty straight about the whole thing.
Aww shucks, Erica.
I’ve spent a lot of time thinking about it. All the possibilities are out there… I just have to make ‘em happen.
Do NOT let the math intimidate you. You need to be able to wrap your mind around the concept of WHY you do the math. You can use a calculator do the math.
Having been back to college as a thirty-something mother with kids and a part time job on weekends, it was damned hard. My schooling involved a clinical internship that was four days a week (32 hours)and we only got three credit hours for it so there was still a lot of classroom time on top of that to be a full time student. No way did I worry about a 4.0 gpa. I worried about balance and it impressed my professors, program director and fellow students, many of whom were quite young. (Not a single immediate family member congratulated me, however when I got my A.S. degree from the university.)
Going to school at this age may or may not benefit you careerwise or financially, but it WILL benefit you emotionally and spiritually. You will find enjoyment, enrichment and a sense of exploration. You are more focused on a goal and it makes it easier to get into a rhythm of studying.
Never pass up an opportunity to learn. Even if you never USE it, you have the experience and it all gets incorporated into your knowledge base. In January I am taking a bee keeping class just for the heck of it. Will I put a hive in my little habitat here? I don’t know. Perhaps. But I will learn and enjoy knowing about them.
Thanks, my dear Auntie.
Beekeeping is awesome! I have a friend in Israel who does it, let me know if you’d like to connect with him. I also found out a friend in HS was in the field for a long time, too. It’s fascinating to me.
My interests are so diverse- the other program I’m looking at revolves around wine making. So if I can’t solve crimes by dusting for fingerprints, then I’ll make wine.
ok…… but remember that wine we tried with honey in it tasted like a hair salon so we won’t mix the two endeavors! ewwwwwwwww ha haha
Haha… totally, that was god-awful. Never the twain shall meet, then!