Confidential To…
…Mother Nature.
Look, you indecisive and brazenly fickle hussy, KNOCK IT OFF WITH THE SNOW. It’s officially Spring! Surely you remember, I hear you were a drunken floozy on the Vernal Equinox. (A little too much Pinot Noir, I’m told.)
I know you have a lot going on and weather duties can be a real drag, but think of the people and the animals and my GOD, the poor confused flowers! Have you looked and seen all the little beauties shivering and layered in snow? It’s about the saddest thing I’ve ever seen. That and cherry blossoms covered in snow- that’s just too many levels of wrong for me to stay silent.
Listen. Take a bath, have some chocolate, turn of the ol’ cell… whatever it is you need to do to get focused. But in the meantime, can you call off the snow? Pretty please?
I’m sorry to be, well, such a brazen complainer but somebody’s gotta do it.
Your truly,
Lachlan
March 28th, 2008 at 10:06 am
here here
March 28th, 2008 at 12:23 pm
And I just got my Vitamin D level back up to almost normal, goddammit! YOU, Mother N, are going to be solely responsible for my RELAPSE if you don’t stop this nonsense! [shakes finger menacingly at the sky]
March 29th, 2008 at 9:37 am
I second that. Jesus Christ, I turn on the weather forecast this morning and hear that more SNOW is coming next week?? No thanks, I’ll skip it. Bring on the rain, my garden needs to be all primed but lay off the FUCKING SNOW.
March 30th, 2008 at 4:59 am
I wholeheartedly agree. It was freakin’ 16 degrees here last night!