The Official Bucket List

• Visit the UK
• Do a 5/5 difficulty geocache
• Learn another language
• Go back to school… for something.
• Visit South America
• Learn to fly a plane
• Become SCUBA certified
• Learn to ride a motorcycle
• Get some of my writing published
• Take this local class on metalworking. I’m dying to do something creative like that.
• Do a long-distance hike somewhere. Doesn’t matter where. I just want to go many miles over several days and camp along the route.
• Visit Australia and New Zealand.
• Volunteer at a pet shelter
• Swim with dolphins. Doesn’t matter where.
• Take an Alaskan cruise
• Get married to Bayou.
• Be a parent with Bayou.
• See all of the Hawaiian islands. (Soon to be 2 down!)
• Learn how to correctly use a compass.
• Climb a mountain.
• White water raft.
• See the Grand Canyon.
• Become truly proficient at guitar and harmonica.

I’ll think of more later.

Not so. This trip is shaping up to be raucous, ya’ll.

Here’s what we have booked so far:

-Hang gliding (at this place, if you want to see some cool pics & vids)

-An ATV tour (I love these people’s slogan)

We’re also going to do a kayak tour on a river and a zip line! I don’t think we’ve booked it yet.

And one last place to book… I am excited as hell for this. We’re going to get some more ink.

We’re also going to do a massage, a luau, and some geocaching while we’re there. Oh, and shopping. Gotta get some of that in.

I am SO READY. It’s been ages since we had a real vacation.

Tuesday night I dreamed that I was at a Native American music recital- there were several kids and a few Native adults, all performing. My friends V & D were there. I had just seen them on Saturday so I am not surprised they were in my dream.

In real life I was discussing the merits of the iPod Touch with V, and this also made its way into dreamland. In my dream I had purchased a Touch as a surprise for V, but I had bought it from a third party seller on Amazon and there was a problem. I was getting agitated about it when I got a call telling me to look outside.

We were in a building near the Seattle waterfront. As I peered into the distance, I could see what appeared to be a levitating figure coming closer. I excused myself to the balcony, and sure enough- there she was.

“She” being the seller. Like a twisted combination of Lady of the Lake and Lady Gaga, she floated towards me dressed in crazy silver armor. When she reached my location, the front of her armor (think chest level) opened and a box came out on a platter.

It was the Touch. I told her I was satisfied and would leave her good feedback. Then I woke up, LOL.

Last night, I dreamed I was interviewing an intern for our office with someone I didn’t know. The intern was a mess- inarticulate, stuttering, no substantive answers. She was so nervous. In the middle of the interview my cell rang, and I excused myself.

It was my Dad. As clear as the sunshine Seattle is getting, I could hear his voice. He was calling because in this dream we’d made lunch plans, and somehow I had missed a conflict with another event. He wanted to know if I wanted to reschedule, and where we’d eat.

It was such a normal, every-day-in-the-life sort of conversation that I could have with anyone- anyone except him. I woke up with such a deep ache in my heart.

But as Bayou pointed out, at least I got to hear his voice.

The good: losing the cravings for processed crap, and staying pretty active over the weekend. Also, not ridiculously over-indulging with the 4th of July festivities we hosted Sunday.

The bad: the scale we bought broke. Which is probably a good thing, since the constant fluctuation was making Bayou crazy and depressed.

The ugly: Finding out the hard way Friday night that I can’t drink like I used to on this diet.

On a “Here’s To Good Service Note”, I emailed the manufacturer yesterday morning about the scale and its bizarre behavior and got a near-immediate reply saying it was defective and they’d be happy to replace it. So score for that.

I feel we’ve sort of plateaued since we began our changes, in terms of weight loss. But I feel stronger in other areas, especially the mental aspect of this process. It’s getting easier and easier to make choices that were once the bane of my existence- to drink Coke or not, chocolate or an apple, etc etc.

I don’t know if we’ll meet our 10lbs goal by the time we go to Kauai, but it’s ok. We’re on the right path. It’s still a challenge to incorporate daily exercise, but I hoping to get better in that area.

Thanks to everyone for their support. It means a lot to have such a great cheering section!

Anyway, we’re making good changes. To recap:

• Bayou has lost 3.4lbs
• I’ve lost 5.7lbs
• We’ve reduced coffee consumption to 1-2 days a week with strict monitoring of milk, etc added
• Soda has been eliminated from my diet, and Bayou is drinking much less processed/calorie laden versions, such as Dry Soda
• We got our indoor trainer for the bike to make it a stationary bike, and got the tires inflated. Today I tested it out at various speeds for 10m. It felt good and will definitely be a workout
• We’ve begun splitting meals if we go out, but if at all possible we try to cook at home
• We’re positive and encouraging each other every step of the way
• I’m faithfully taking my Zocor as well as multivitamin, vitamin D, and Omega 3 supplements
• We’re doing a good job of avoiding processed foods

For the first time in a long time, I feel positive and good about what we’re doing. We’re not beholden to impossible-to-meet-and-maintain goals, we’re giving ourselves little treats here and there, and we definitely feel mentally better about it all.

Next up: researching more recipes and adding more exercise in. And prizes! 10lbs will be our first prize event. I really think both of us will be 10lbs lighter by the time we get to Kauai. Which is fanfuckingtastic.

We’ve also managed to add some walking into the mix, and I played drums on Rock Band for awhile last night. I was sweaty when it was over. Today, our indoor trainer arrives, too. (Oh how I love Amazon Prime!)

On tap for this weekend, gardening, geocaching, and buying fireworks!

We still have to figure out a few more recipes that will make leftovers and won’t break the calorie bank. Time to hit the books, virtual and literal.

In order to help with the exercise part of this equation, we bought this:

This will be less of an impact (important for Bayou) than riding outside, and since we’re slated to have a totally craptastic summer weather-wise, it will help when the rain comes back.

We also broke down and bought a scale. We both felt that if we were going to be watching our calorie intake so much, then we ought to see what it is or isn’t doing. Bayou was disappointed to appear to have gained since her last doctor’s appointment. I seem to have lost some water weight since last week, stupid PMS. Meh.

But onward and upward! Here’s hoping I feel as good about all this in a few weeks as I do now.

“Your weight has increased every time I’ve seen you in the past three years. Your cholesterol is border-line high. It’s time to make some changes.”

None of this was news; but I needed to hear it as a counterpoint to all the well-meaning friends who’ve told me I look great, ignore the doctor, etc etc. I knew they were trying to make me feel better but in my heart I knew what was happening.

Grief and a punishing work schedule, along with my retirement from soccer, have really upped my weight. I’m just under 5’3′ and 160lbs. Too heavy.

Bayou and I have tried -and failed- several times to make changes with our diet. But as soon as one of us gets stressed/PMS’d, it all goes out the window. I understand the psychology and hormones behind these episodes quite well, but it hasn’t really altered our behavior.

But I’ve finally had enough. I told Bayou that I just can’t do this anymore, and between us, we’re causing the other to fail. We have to be united if we want to feel better. So we’re trying again.

First up on the slate of changes:

-No more coffee during the week. This looked like it was going to be a tough one, but Bayou discovered a tea that smells and tastes a bit like coffee. We tried it this morning, and it’s awesome.

-No more soda for me period, and a gradual phasing out of it for her. It’s obvious we drink a lot of our calories, so this is really the easiest diet area to attack.

-Setting a goal and sticking with it. We each have about 30lbs to lose, so to track our progress we’re using the iPhone app Lose It.

-Portion control. This one is going to be trickier, but I think we’ll figure it out.

Ideally, I’d like to add some exercise in there somewhere, but we have some logistical issues facing us that we have to overcome first. But this is a start.

1. What is your idea of perfect happiness? I used to think I knew the answer to this question, but now I’m not so sure. My answers are changing significantly. Part of that has to do with current concerns and just general evolution. But I do think that whatever vision I would have for “perfect” happiness would involve equal parts creativity, love, and professional fulfillment.

2. What is your greatest fear? I’m not sure which plagues me the most right now, but it’s a close race between financial fuck-up-edness and not finding my niche professionally.

3. What is the trait you most deplore in yourself? Avoidance. If I don’t want to deal with something, I will do just about anything to get out of it. I do this less than I used to, but it pops up at annoying times. Second to this is the justifications that I conjure up to make the avoidance have the sheen of logic.

4. What is the trait you most deplore in others? I don’t know if there is one trait that I despise above all others, simply because different traits in different people in a variety of situations evoke different responses from me. I think it’s all correlated to how vulnerable I feel in a given situation. One thing I cannot stand in a professional setting is a holier-than-thou, condescending attitude. On the personal side, it’s people who haven’t a shred of self-insight. To me, that’s like living blind, deaf, and mute.

5. Which living person do you most admire? Because humans are imperfect, there is no one single person that I can point to as being a person worthy of my highest admiration. There are a number of people I admire, mostly for their incredible intellects. They are people who are skilled and knowledgeable about many things, and share their insight readily.

6. What is your greatest extravagance? Gadgetry. While it makes my life simpler and even better in some ways, I also tend to think it makes me dumber in others.

7. What is your current state of mind? It’s a mixture of anxiety about coming neighborhood/lifestyle changes and world events, and gratitude for the awesomeness that is my life.

8. What do you consider the most overrated virtue? I like Irk’s comments on industriousness, but what makes me insane is this insistence on quantifying everything in order to make an obvious, and needed change, whether in business or other areas. While plotting out information to support a change is often helpful, it’s also used to stonewall, redirect, and derail.

9. On what occasion do you lie? When telling someone a brutal truth is only going to hurt them, and not help. When I’m just not ready to admit something that’s painful or reflects badly on me.

10. What do you most dislike about your appearance? My weight. I feel bloated, heavy, and slow.

11. Which living person do you most despise? It’s more of a collection of people, who share the traits of ignorance, hatred, and a general desire to impress their way of life on everyone else.

12. What is the quality you most like in a man? A man who can balance his yin and his yang- in other words, a man who can be soft when necessary and bring his strength and maleness to bear when it’s time. I know a certain retired Marine who does this effortlessly.

13. What is the quality you most like in a woman? An intellect heavily accented with a sense of humor. No question. If you have that, you’ll either capture my heart or friendship.

14. Which words or phrases do you most overuse? “FTW!” “I can haz…”, “It would seem…”

15. What or who is the greatest love of your life? I have been fortunate to have loved and been loved by some incredible women. Each brought something unique, wonderful, and helped me grow. But Bayou is my one. We complement each other so thoroughly, so deeply. We have the best and most open communication and with each other we are ourselves. And that is precious beyond words.

16. When and where were you happiest? There is no one place or time, rather, it’s a collection of each that had moments of sheer joy. Some lasted longer than others, and some were more impactful. But I’ve been lucky to have found happiness everywhere I’ve been, even if only in fleeting scraps.

17. Which talent would you most like to have? Practical talent? Multi-lingual. Impractical? Singing.

18. If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be? This is a tough one, because I can’t imagine changing that one thing without fundamentally altering what makes me- well, me. And while I am not perfect, would it be worth the result to change that one thing? Still, to answer the question, I would have to say poor critical thinking/logic skills. I wish I were better with linear thinking, numbers, etc.

19. What do you consider your greatest achievement? I have achieved nothing of note, and what I have achieved has been purely selfish. Black belts, soccer goals, poetry. Perhaps that will change.

20. If you were to die and come back as a person or a thing, what would it be? If I were to return to this earth as a person, I would hope I’d return as a healer or someone with leadership and resources to affect positive change on a grand scale.

21. Where would you most like to live? I think about this a lot. I’ve been in Seattle 10.5yrs. In general, I enjoy it here. There is no place like it in terms of natural beauty. But I also see us living in Oregon or California one day. Who knows? It wouldn’t suck to be 100% debt free and buy a motor home and just drive to wherever the hell we feel like it, either.

22. What is your most treasured possession? I have a few. One was my Dad’s ring. I still have a dog tag of his that he used to wear when he jogged. His USAF dog tags, sadly, are long lost. I am sentimental about a lot of things, these are just two which come to mind.

23. What do you regard as the lowest depth of misery? Those times in life when things seem dire and fighting to go on, get better, grow stronger seems pointless.

24. What is your favorite occupation? I wish I knew. I certainly haven’t found it.

25. What is your most marked characteristic? How does one answer this? I’m not sure what standard to use- markedly positive or negative? I suppose it varies for me, depending on the day. Some days I would say my intellect, others my passionate nature. There are days when those two meet and whoah nelly, watch out.

26. What do you most value in your friends? This is one area where I’m truly blessed. I have such wickedly smart friends all over the globe. They are funny, perceptive, and caring. The entire lot of ‘em.

27. Who are your favorite writers? Roger Zelazny, Simon Singh, Judith Tarr, Malcolm Gladwell.

28. Who is your hero of fiction? I love the noble, flawed hero of Mirain in Tarr’s “Avaryan Rising” series. I also still revel in the character that was Corwin, of Zelazny’s “Amber Chronicles”.

29. Which historical figure do you most identify with? Although I do love history, there is not really any one person with whom I identify strongly. There are many whose journeys share an echo of mine, and I can relate to them in that aspect specifically. I’m intrigued by people such as Alan Turing, Ann Lister, Eleanor Roosevelt, Ada Lovelace.

30. Who are your heroes in real life? People who regularly give their all and place their lives in danger in the service of others.

We have a good friend, Lesa, who’s starting her own party/event planning business. She’s excellent- I can’t tell you how awesome it was to have her buy the decorations, buy the food, COOK IT ALL, and get everything set up. Handing her some dough was extremely easy.

Everyone had a great time and remarked on how awesome the food was, so definitely a smashing success. Bayou also had a friend from art school who made her cake. It was to die for… and huge. But we made a significant dent in it, as you can see from the last picture in the set.

For Bayou’s 30th, we’re going overseas. She wants a stamp in her passport. Anyone have a suggestion?