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Parting

May 9, 2008 – 1:20 am

It seems like eons ago that I was worried about my trip to Bangalore. In my mind’s eye, time is stretched out like a rubber band and February seems like 2007, not 2008. Maui is a distant, though dreamily pleasant, memory.

And now my time here in Bangalore has come to an end, and I am out of sorts. The thoughts in my head and feelings in my heart are a melange of joy, sadness, and a million other things. I can’t quite sort it out, and perhaps it’s not meant to be sorted this minute.

We had a funny send-off yesterday in the breakroom. The department bought a cake for Blake and I, and we gathered for what I thought would be the usual “speech”. Instead, it was a lot like a birthday celebration here. What happens in those?

Generally, the people whose birthday it is end up wearing the cake. A LOT of it. Keep Reading »

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Lachlan | India, The Digital Salt Mines | Comments (3)

You Asked For It.

May 8, 2008 – 11:34 pm

Operation: Saree has been a success, judging by the comments I’ve gotten.

“Oh lord!”

“You look beautiful. And you still walk like a boy.”

“You look so pretty!”

I’m wearing a saree borrowed from my dear friend Sophia, who also helped me dress. Last night she, Milu, and I went to Commercial Street and purchased the accessories- hair clip, earrings, necklace, bangles, shoes -and dear lord- a strapless bra. The last of which was the most amazingly humiliating experience. Can someone explain to me how I’ve lost 12lbs but require a 38C?

Anyway, here are the photos. Laugh at your own peril.

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Lachlan | India | Comments (1)

Verklempt.

May 7, 2008 – 8:23 pm

Those sneaky, conspiring Bangaloreans.

I don’t have pictures up yet, but I was gifted with not one, but TWO beautiful pieces of art. There really aren’t words, anymore, to describe how honored and humbled I am.

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Where’d Everyone Go?

May 7, 2008 – 5:42 am

So, I don’t speak Hindi. Or Kannada. Or Malayalam. Or any Indian tongue. But I know conspiracy planning when I see/hear it.

Earlier today, after a particularly emotional team meeting, I was sitting with my headphones on QA’ing work. I noticed Sophia get up from her seat and go talk to Jerry and Sakthi. Then Milu drifted over. You get the idea. Suddenly, there was a pod of Bangaloreans talking earnestly in Hindi. I covertly turned off my headset to see what I could glean.

I looked just as covertly, watching from the corner of my eye while continuing to type. I didn’t hear a lick of English- which is highly unusual. The team NEVER speaks anything else around me in the office, out of respect. But there they were, talking like a group of grade schoolers on recess. Something was up.

After a few minutes I deliberately caught one of their gazes and said, in my best mock-serious voice, “Is anyone going to get any work done around here, or are we on holiday?”

They all laughed and went immediately back to their seats. Something was DEFINITELY up.

Now they’re all gone- everyone one left at almost exactly 4p and Sophia sent me a cryptic message saying she’d be back “after some time.” That’s an Indian’s way of saying “forever from now… like, tomorrow.”

So we’ll see. I told Sophia in my reply that whatever they were planning better be crafty, because I’m on to them.

She just smiled and said nothing.

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In Memoriam

May 1, 2008 – 7:00 pm

Today, on Beltane, Amber will be remembered by many of her friends in Tahoe. Though I can’t be there, I will be present in spirit.

Here’s to you, beautiful girl. You will not be forgotten, and somewhere you’re smiling down on this outpouring of love. I hope that if there is anything positive to come of your death, it’s that the people who cared about you realize the fleetingness of life. And they live accordingly.

amber.jpg

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Sneaky.

May 1, 2008 – 6:11 pm

Last night, one of the investigators here in Bangalore called to check on me. Sophia wanted to know what medicines I had, etc.

She said “You should get some Vicks from the hotel. If they don’t have it on hand, they can get it for cheap.” I said ok, with no real intention of calling downstairs. All I wanted to do was sleep and not be in pain, and the last thing I wanted to do was deal with the hotel staff.

After we hung up, my phone rang again about 2min later. It was someone from the front desk.

“What do you require, ma’am?”

I said, “I’m sorry?” It was so unexpected that I didn’t know what else to say.

“We got a call that you are ill and need some Vicks.”

Well, well. VERY sneaky, young lady. Sophia obviously figured out that I would not call. Her end-run Reminds me of something a certain Southerner would do.

And yes, I got my Vicks. It cost 30 INR, so about 75 cents US. Crazy.

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Lachlan | India | Comments (2)

Dr Rudy Sez…

May 1, 2008 – 9:14 am

In case you were wondering who the hell Dr. Rudy was, since I am India, it’s none other than the former blogstress extraordinaire Maura of A Waste of Biomass. If you missed her contributions to the websphere, well, then you missed out. But I digress.

Luckily for me, the illustrious lady with a blackbelt in toxicology was online today- early for her, not too early for me. It’s about 9.5hrs between here and where she lives. The conversation went something like this:

“I’m sick, I have x, y, and z symptoms,” I said.

“Hmm. Do you have x, y, or z available?” she asked.

“No, the ‘pharmacies’ here are run by non-pharmacists and I think that’s what gave me the rash,” I replied.

“Ok…thinking, thinking… do you have x?”

“Yes, I do.”

“Ok! So, do this, in this order, and I also think you should drink.”

“As in beer?”

“Yep.”

So that’s not EXACTLY how it went… but close. All in all, I am reassured. Even though the rash is better and head-whatever is worse. I feel like a sinus infection is coming on. Luckily for me, the medicine I was Rx’d for massive traveler’s diarrhea also works on horrible sinus issues. So if this continues, I will be taking it. At least I have that.

It’s better than nothing, and better than a trip to the hospital here. Because I will not let them take blood from in a country where needles are routinely re-used… just sayin’. I’m only willing to go so far.

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Lachlan | India | Comments (4)

Well, THAT Was an Experience

May 1, 2008 – 1:15 am

4/30/08
10:32p

Let me be (likely) the first to tell you that hospitals in India are a little intimidating. Very gray, institutional buildings that look badly in need of an update. No color, an almost military quality to them. On the upside, the staff are friendly and unobtrusive.

And I bet you can already guess how I know. Keep Reading »

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Lachlan | India | Comments (5)

Scattered Connections

April 29, 2008 – 7:11 pm

4/29/08
8:58p

The phone lines in India are a funny thing. Sometimes the lines are crystal clear, and there isn’t even a hint of crackle. Other times, it’s like someone is talking through a wet sock. However, there is but one certainty no matter what the line quality: every time there is Hindi music playing in the background. Every time. It’s distracting as hell when you are already driven to distraction by everything that is India.

After being here four weeks, I decided to take the suggestion of my host manager and use the Cool Company’s dime to reach out to a few people stateside.1

First Bayou got a wake-up call from me. A good thing too, as it was already 7:30a and she wasn’t up yet.2 We chatted for a few minutes before she promised to call me at her usual appointed time. Keep Reading »

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  1. Previous efforts had been stymied by thick accents and my inability to slow my speech down sufficiently to be understood. We seem to be over that now. [↩]
  2. And work starts at 8a… [↩]
Lachlan | The Devil Duck Tales | Comments (0)

Wasted (Saying Goodbye Too Soon)

April 28, 2008 – 11:08 am

For all those sick of my non-stopping ruminating on India, I’ve got a change of pace for you.

Some of you know that in a former life I spent time in Lake Tahoe, Nevada. I worked for a shady Internet company that made its living on ad revenue and other things which I won’t go into detail about adult content, cough.1 During my time there I met a constellation of true individuals, among them my bestest pal in the whole world, Adam.2

Amongst my pals there were Amber, Kim, Shawnee, Kelly, and Kim’s mom Nancy. Later, my girlfriend Shana joined us. It was a rock solid foundation in a town known for its fluidity and bohemian lifestyle. I really loved and love them.

After being in Seattle 8 years, we’re still in touch though not as often as I would like. We email and occasionally talk on the phone, and keep up with each other via Myspace or IM. In particular I’d kept up with Nancy and Amber, the latter of which via Myspace. Keep Reading »

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  1. And NO, I didn’t star in any- I just reviewed the advertisers. Shut up. [↩]
  2. That’s my blogdaddy too, btw. [↩]
Lachlan | The Devil Duck Tales | Comments (6)

Oh, The Talent.

April 28, 2008 – 3:54 am

And the wonderfully endowed & perverted pal humanity.

Bravo, ladies. Bravo! And why can I see this little ditty expanding to other notable bloggers? The possibilities are endless. You better copyright this song before every lesbian in America co-opts it.

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Lachlan | Blogsploitation, GLBT | Comments (3)

Coorg: A Princess Moment

April 24, 2008 – 7:18 pm

After that lovely missive I just wrote about my Indian Experience In Progress, I feel like an ass for what I’m about to relate. C’est la vie, I guess.

Last weekend we planned another trip to Coorg, which is kind of a lush green paradise compared to other parts of India. It’s known for coffee, oranges, and other agricultural stuff. It’s also known as a resort town, somewhere you get away to from the big city. The images on Google certainly gave me a sense of somewhere pastoral and lacking in a frenetic pace.1 Everyone said, “Oh, good choice! It’ll be cooler than it is here in Bangalore.”

Ha. Ha ha. HAHAHA! Someone LIED. Either that or the fucking weather gods were on strike. It was suffocatingly hot and humid. I thought I might expire by melting before it was all over. But let me back up, I’m getting a little ahead of myself. Keep Reading »

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  1. Except for the traffic; it’s the same EVERYWHERE in India I’ve been so far [↩]
Lachlan | India | Comments (5)

Intimacy & Sacrifice

April 23, 2008 – 7:10 pm

4/23/08
8:30p

The last few days have been just agonizing, for a variety of reasons. Mother Nature decided to torture me early this month with her Cascade of Hormone Insanity. I got bitten to death by unknown insect assailants in Coorg1

Furthering the professional agony has been the need to do QA on the work I’ve trained the team in. It started out good… and now they are starting to show some cracks. And what’s my first reaction? To think I’ve failed them somehow. Did I not force them to stand on their own soon enough? Did I not turn their questions back to them and make them think enough? Am I being too harsh in my assessment? Not harsh enough?

Too. Much. Thinking. My head wanted to explode by today. I was dreading Director Man’s last day here, and I put myself through the wringer unnecessarily. I got nothing but good, positive suggestions and by the end of the day I’d regained my confidence. Now I just have to make the next 12 business days count. Keep Reading »

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  1. I owe you all a post about that misadventure). My Director was here and the tension was so thick it could’ve been cut with a ghurka. He left today, so the usual tomfoolery and unimpeded training can recommence. ((I really actually benefited from some of his insight however, so I kid somewhat about wanting him to leave. Somewhat. [↩]
Lachlan | India, The Digital Salt Mines | Comments (2)

Missing

April 22, 2008 – 9:59 pm

That’s the overwhelming theme in my life at the moment.

Missing appetites, missing things, people, and places, missing ‘leadership opportunities’ (GRRRR), and a million other things I can’t list.

I’m starting to feel the strain of the distance, and though I know I’ll survive, there are times when the effort and the utter foreignness of things happening around me is ponderous. I feel more and more of a need to retreat to my hotel and be in silence, but that is not easy to explain to the team. They want my time, and I cannot blame them.

This weekend there will be no trips. I plan on doing a lot of nothing Saturday and going out on the town Sunday. I was invited to a traditional Indian engagement party, but it’s too far to travel. I hated to decline.

That’s all for now. I don’t have the mental energy to write more, but I will when I can.

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Off We Go!

April 18, 2008 – 3:49 am

I’m taking off for a new destination here in India, Coorg. All of you behave and say hi to my honey, she’s lonely.

More pictures to come!

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Operation: Sari…

April 17, 2008 – 8:57 pm

…has been replaced by Operation: Salwar Kameez. I am not, have never been, and will never be sari material. Shamala thankfully recognizes that to try and squeeze me into the elaborate dress and its attending rituals would be like putting silk on a hippo.

Instead, I’ve bought a salwar kameez and will be wearing it Tuesday. Yes, pictures will be forthcoming. And if any of you smart asses get too fresh, do remember I know where you live. (Most of you, anyway)

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Lachlan | India | Comments (5)

It’s Confirmed…

April 15, 2008 – 8:16 pm

…I’m staying an additional three weeks here in India.

I’m both excited and sad. Excited because I think it’s the best thing for the company and team, but it is a personal sacrifice, too. Still, I know it will be ok and May 10th will be here soon enough.

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When Cultures (Quite Inexplicably) Collide

April 14, 2008 – 8:53 am

Yesterday Blake and I checked out the Lal Bagh Botanical Garden here in Bangalore. It’s a huge park, 240 acres- for an aerial view, check out this satellite photo. We didn’t see everything, as it was hotter than Hades but we did manage to cover some ground. It’s pretty green despite the heat, but there were some very dry areas and places where there was supposed to be water, but wasn’t.1

Two things stood out as strange and outright weird. The former I need to get more details on, the latter I’m going to post about here because it’s too funny to pass up. Since I’ve been in India, I’ve seen a lot of things that just don’t make sense or seem like really strange mash-ups of Western and Eastern culture.

But this? This just has no explanation. Keep Reading »

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  1. In fact, I have noticed a lot of empty fountains through India [↩]
Lachlan | India, The Bizarro World | Comments (3)

*Thud!* *Zzzzz…*

April 14, 2008 – 5:12 am

4/14/08, 4:31pm

That’s the sound I made when I collapsed from exhaustion today. (Not really collapsed. Figuratively only.) Friday-Sunday kicked my ass. 18, 17, and 14 hour days just took the energy out of me, and I left the office at 2pm today. I slept for a couple hours, and now I feel a tad more human.

Mentally I haven’t been in the right frame of mind at all, and I wasn’t sure what I needed to do to get back to my happy(ier) place. Sometimes it’s an activity, sometimes it’s seeking counsel from others. And then there are the occasions where only time works out the kinks. This was one of those.

I’m intensely sensitive emotionally, and though I’ve gotten better there are still times when I feel as though I’ve been slammed up against a wall of glass. Try as I might to be tough and not let the inner turmoil seep out, I can’t always control it. It’s something I need to work on. I don’t like it, and I don’t want negativity to result from this tendency. I also don’t want to desensitize and blunt my awareness of others and my surroundings. It’s a fine line, at least for me.

Things are still in limbo over being extended here in Bangalore. I really want to get that decided so I can adequately prepare to wrap up or develop new material/exercises for training. Everyone at the office is on pins and needles, bless them. I know they’re all praying to their god or gods to keep me around a bit longer- and I mean that in the kindest and most literal sense. It’s so damn endearing and humbling to have this much appreciation directed my way over something I consider so basic and fair. No matter what, I know my presence here will have lasting positive effects. It’s not very often we get such a clear-cut opportunity to do that, is it? I guess I hadn’t realized how rare that was until I’d been here awhile and saw it with my own eyes.

Communication’s been the ongoing theme here, really. Getting it, giving it, asking for it. It’s something I’ve encountered daily personally and professionally, and think this experience will alter my career course a bit. I’m not yet sure how, but we’ll see how that plays out. All I know is that I realize how crappy a job we’ve been doing in this area, and much improvement is needed.

I’m not sure what is on tap for the rest of the week, after office-hours. We never did bowl last week, opting to reschedule for Blake’s arrival and I am sure there will be more sight-seeing. Hopefully some more photos ops, and I am thoroughly enjoying that aspect of the trip. Everyone else is too, here and at home. I’ve always loved photography, and I am so thankful for the ease of digital work. Practically instant gratification isn’t always a bad thing!

Time for me to eat and read and just vegetate for a bit. If I think too much more, I might collapse again. This is one of those times when I wish for a recharge and think it would be so much easier if there was a technological way to do that…

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Weekend Update.

April 13, 2008 – 6:07 am

Well, I survived the Friday Night Confidence Assassination, aka the annual performance review. I got a raise, some stock, and a lot of really painful feedback. And that’s all I’m gonna say about it.

Went to Mysore Saturday with my cronies Shaji, Prathima, and Nirmal. I would probably have enjoyed the trip more if A), I had not been dog tired, B) the heat had been less than the 7th-circle-of-hell variety, and C) I’d just said fuck it and had beer for breakfast.

It was fun, but I really didn’t feel as good as I wanted to and that colored my perceptions a bit. I also didn’t get to take nearly as many photos as I wanted, as a few places had no-camera rules. Seeing as I love my camera and might be here for a time, I didn’t want to get it confiscated. So I’ll have to settle for directing you to the main attraction via Google Images, the Mysore Palace. An amazing, amazing royal palace maintained by the state government (Mysore is the state of Karnataka). There was stained glass in there unlike ANYTHING I have ever seen- rivaling and maybe surpassing Notre Dame. Different style, I know, but this had more gravitas. I have never seen a place that had decorative touches everywhere. And that’s not an exaggeration; every door frame, column, tile, window, and corner of the palace has something artistic about it.

The photos I was able to take are slowly going up here in the Mysore set. There are some really funny shots, especially on Chamundi Hill of the rogue monkeys causing mayhem everywhere. I knew they were bad little monkeys, but it was quite hilarious to see them in action. I watched one steal a bunch of bananas from a shopkeeper and scamper up a tree. Prathima said another one stole an offering a of fruit a woman had hidden under her sari inside the temple at Chamundi. Ran right up to her, lifted the sari and snatched the fruit. I am sure she was livid even as Prathima and Nirmal were agape then laughing.

I also saw more cows in Chamundi Hill than I have in Bangalore or Mysore. I even saw a little boy hugging one, and the cow patiently tolerating it. The temple there is lovely, at least from the outside. I have resisted (until today anyway, but that’s a post for later) going into any Hindu temples as I feel like a really annoying outsider whenever I do. I don’t want to be disrespectful of anyone, and it just seems prudent to keep myself out of the way.

Another Cool Company peep arrived yesterday, Blake. He’s also here to train a team, and so we palled around and are going to dinner soon. I’ll write more after bit, when my stomach isn’t screaming quite so loudly.

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